It was one year ago. One whole year that our lives were forever changed. I took a pregnancy test – and much to my surprise it was POSITIVE! I remember that moment so well. How I felt when I was standing in the bathroom holding that test. Happiness, excitement, anxiousness, nausea (one of my first signs that I might be pregnant). Happy tears poured from my eyes.
The day before we were putting away Brigham’s crib. I remember being so sad. So so sad. I had tried all along to put having another baby out of my mind because I knew that it just wasn’t our plan. I went downstairs while Naaman finished taking it down. I went in the bathroom and cried. Something deep inside me kept telling me we were supposed to have another baby. I believe that with all my heart. I believe that He had this planned all along. And I am so grateful for our daughter that sometimes I can’t breathe.
If I’m being honest, my third pregnancy was a confusing time. Even though it wasn’t my first rodeo there were new worries, new fears, new challenges. But the first second I saw her all of that instantly melted away. Funny how that happens, eh? There are still great big fears. But she makes facing them worth it.
And now I’m so completely head-over-heels in love with this girl, our sweet Sawyer, that I can’t believe I’ve lived this long without her.
One year ago – one whole year – I found out I was expecting another child. I think the word expecting is perfect. Because I was expecting a miracle. And I certainly got one.