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Know what one of my worst fears is?

You might think of spiders. Well, yes. I’m terrified of spiders.

Or you might think of flying. Yes, that too. I have a really bad fear of flying.

But more than that? I’m scared of losing all my photos. I take a lot of them. Sometimes fifty a day! I’ve thought a lot about it and our family photos are probably my most prized possession (besides the actual people in my family). So it makes sense that I would do anything to protect them. We did buy an external hard drive to back up our computers. But that was still not quite enough to calm my fears. I would lay in bed at night thinking of if I would have time to grab both the hard drive and my children in case of an emergency. Anxiety. I have it. So, when it comes to our beautiful and precious photos I need to be sure they are safe.

In an earlier post I discussed that my anxiety had been growing because Sawyer seemed somewhat “floppy.” This was something that I noticed early on. When I held her at two months I noticed that she had very little head control still. She also wasn’t putting any weight on her legs at all. They were completely limp. This caused me great worry.

Part of me was thinking back to when Landon and Brigham were infants. Both of them were very strong right from the beginning. They were holding their little heads up like champs and their legs were holding weight from the first week. They were sitting up unassisted by four months, pulling up to stand by six months and Brigham even took his first steps at eight months! I know that that’s not the norm. But it was hard not to compare Sawyer to the boys’ development since that is what I had already experienced.

I love being able to breastfeed my girl. But there is one thing I do not love about it . . . pumping. I really, truly hate it. But as a working mama it is a necessity for me to pump while I am away from her. I am so grateful for my amazing pump. It allows me the chance to provide Sawyer with what she needs to grow while not having to compromise our breastfeeding relationship!

When we came home from the hospital with Sawyer my heart was so happy I felt like it could burst at any moment. I sat on the sofa, my newborn daughter nestled into my breast and I could have cried from the bliss of it all. I watched as my two strong, healthy sons wrestled with each other in front of me, sending fits of laughter into the air. I need only look down to see our new addition and how perfectly she fit into my arms and into our family. As sleep-deprived as I was – I couldn’t stop smiling. Life had just hit an all-time high for me.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve had three babies and never shared some of my favorite newborn items with my readers! I have to admit, my list for my first baby would probably be way different than it is now. By the time you’ve had three babies your list of must-have items is pretty minimal. It’s really exciting to buy a crapload of the most expensive stuff when it’s your first baby. But now it’s really quality over quantity.

Have you heard of Stitch Fix? I feel like every blogger has tried it at least once and if not they are thinking about it. I learned about Stitch Fix a year ago. Then when I went to Influence Conference the founders did a presentation on how they started their business. I was pregnant at the time but told myself I would give it a shot after I gave birth.

If you haven’t heard of it Stitch Fix is a service where you pay a $20 styling fee, fill out a questionnaire about your style and someone will pick five pieces of clothing/accessories to send right to where you live. That’s right. No awkward and/or sad moments in a fitting room at the mall. Sold yet? I was.

Read Part I here

When I found out I was pregnant again one of my first thoughts went to the challenges of breastfeeding. I could not get our struggles out of my head. Although I was excited to possibly get another shot at the whole thing I was nervous. I just didn’t know if my heart could go through another breastfeeding failure.

From the very beginning of Brigham’s pregnancy I decided the best thing I could do was to arm myself with as much information possible about breastfeeding.

I have decided to write out my breastfeeding journey in three parts. That may seem like overkill but really I’m just separating my experiences by my three children. If I wrote about all three experiences it would be novel-length. I really don’t think I would be doing anyone any favors by pretending that breastfeeding has been this amazing, beautiful experience for me. Yes, there have been parts of it that have been amazing and beautiful. But it has taken quite a bit of trial and suffering in order to get there.

I have been terrible about getting my DSLR out to take photos of our girl. With my iPhone always within reach it’s so easy to grab it and take photos with it instead of my nice one. I am so out of practice. But the first year flies by so fast. I knew I had to get it out and start trying to capture some nice photos to remember these early days. I don’t want to forget the little details.

I think everyone who reads this blog or follows me on Facebook and Instagram knew how badly I wanted to go into labor at the end. Once I was considered full-term I immediately started doing all those natural things that are rumored to start up labor. I was ready. So ready for her to come out after being sick for weeks upon weeks. The never-ending cough severely bruised my ribs and it was excruciatingly painful to do much of anything. I finally decided to go out of work early because I could barely drive without crying. The rest was good for me, I think. I felt better but still not 100%.

Valentine’s Day is coming up quick and what better way to mark the occasion than with a beautiful new piece of jewelry for yourself (or a loved one)! When Blue Nile contacted me about offering one of my lucky readers this gorgeous sterling silver branch necklace I jumped at the chance. I love their website and I’ll let you in on a silly little secret. Before I was engaged (circa 2005) I used to hop on their website and design engagement rings when I got bored. Try it. It’s super fun. Especially when you design yourself a $650,000 diamond ring. A girl can dream, am I right?

Sawyer Rebecca has arrived. And she’s absolutely perfect. Six pounds, twelve oz and 19 inches long. Birth story to come. We are so deeply in love and forever grateful.

You are the sunshine of my life That’s why I’ll always be around, You are the apple of my eye, Forever you’ll stay in my heart

I feel like this is the beginning, Though I’ve loved you for a million years, And if I thought our love was ending, I’d find myself drowning in my own tears